ripples in the water and why goodbyes are now harder

I feel like I'm a pond of water right now in the changing season. On the surface everything is calm and smooth, unchanged. But in its dark depths, there is a vigorous turmoil. Hugely agitated and anything but calm. Trying my best to put on a calm demeanor these days, but seriously who am I kidding. Underneath the surface, there's a disarray of emotions and thoughts.
Our experiences together have changed me. Each, like a raindrop falling into the pond, creates a ripple. It changes the pond, its composition will never be the same.
Gosh, I miss you already.

Why goodbyes are harder now
Each passing moment is an extra minute to reminisce on the past (though I hate doing this).
Why I'll miss you:
I'll miss my silly, awkward attempt to get your attention on that first day we met. Trying to be helpful to get you online on your laptop. Trying to navigate your Japanese Windows operating system and failing.
I'll miss our first real conversation when I was on the beanbag chair and you were on the black couch. Boy, was I nervous that time.
I'll miss the day that S.Keith took your seat and you had to move to our pod.
I'll miss staring over my laptop screen and seeing you at the opposite end.
I'll miss our red carpet moment. Thanks for the autograph superstar!
I'll miss that day when I left the Me-to-We scarf on your chair as a gift. I knew you wanted to attend We Day, but that's the best I can do to help you feel as if you were a part of the event.
I'll miss the first time I awkwardly asked you out. Casually asked if you'd like to attend Nuit Blanche. I was ecstatic when you confirmed. I regret that I had to leave early, would've loved to stay longer that night.
I'll miss the night we went to J-Town, it was probably the first opportunity we got to talk more and get to know each other. It was also the first moment I knew I'll miss you once you're gone. I enjoyed browsing the Heisei Mart and sharing some of the snacks we bought. Highlight of the night was shopping at One's and then sharing the crazy scoops of gelato and mango mousse cake. It was also when I found out how much you love your sweets.
I'll miss the first time we had dinner together. That night was... memorable for all the wrong reasons -__-...
Embarrassed that I took you to the wrong direction. I don't understand it, each time I'm with you I lose my sense of direction. I swear I'm normally very good with keeping my direction.
Pantheon's food was excellent. But the rain kinda ruined the fun.
I'll miss the fireworks show we went to on the Cavalcade of Lights. Too bad we didn't do that interview ;)
I'll miss how silly you were that day you mixed up your interview dates. Having to wake up super early to realize it was supposed to be the next day instead.
I'll miss the time we ate at 3 Brewers. Sitting beside that patio window was very cold for my feet ...
I'll miss our first movie together as well. It was a great movie. The best part was when we both jumped when the snake went to attack. Hahaha, we were both so startled.
I'll miss our last dinner together (in Toronto) at o'noire. It was such a unique experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it (http://ideadrivr.blogspot.com/2010/12/blind.html).
I'll miss Montreal. Well, Montreal's Montreal. Our first trip together - it was epic!
You kept asking me why I take photos of you when you're not ready. You look perfect in every picture, and that's how I see you. You're beautiful in each one of them regardless, and it's more natural :b
I'll miss your quirky sense of humour, your silly, embarrassed smile. The face you make when you're upset.
I'll miss the time we spent together.

I'll miss you.